Pet
sounds
A brainy, commercial pop song
about Peter Mandelson? Must be the Pet
Shop Boys. They talk to Alexis Petridis
about Iris (bad), Pop Idol (worse) and
the state of the musical (guess?)
Friday February 8, 2002
The Guardian
As its name suggests, Brewery Way is
not a road dripping with glamour and
refined allure. Lacking even the seedy
frisson of nearby King's Cross, it is
windy and anonymous, lined with articulated
lorries waiting for access to its array
of depots and warehouses. A little bit
of Slough in the middle of north London,
so nondescript that even its solitary
greasy spoon cafe has no name.
If you were scouring London to find
the Pet Shop Boys, this is the last
place you would look. After all, Neil
Tennant and Chris Lowe have founded
a 17-year career on a particularly cultured,
sophisticated brand of pop music. They
may well be the only band in history
to name a top 10 hit after an Anthony
Trollope novel: Can You Forgive Her?,
number seven in the summer of 1993.
As befits a duo once profiled on the
South Bank Show, their chosen collaborators
are not Hollywood stars but highbrow
names from the art world: the late Derek
Jarman made films for their live shows,
Sir Ian McKellen has starred in their
videos, architect Zaha Hadid designed
them a modular stage set and, most recently,
Turner prize-winner Wolfgang Tilmans
made a short film of mice scampering
around London underground tracks to
accompany their forthcoming single Home
and Dry. They write stage musicals and
attend private views. Tennant recently
took to the Pet Shop Boys website to
thank a fan for sending him some presents:
a CD-rom of Soviet Dada and a wooden
stool designed by 1930s architect Alvar
Aalto. Somehow, they just don't seem
like Brewery Way kind of guys.
This morning, however, Tennant and
Lowe are applying their finely honed
aesthetic sense to a full English breakfast
in Brewery Way's nameless cafe.
"They do scramble eggs in a most
unusual way here," says Tennant.
"We can't quite work it out."
"Last time we were in, they came
in a leaning tower arrangement. A cylinder
going off at an angle," says Lowe.
"There's a lot of vertical food
around at the moment," says Tennant,
as if hoping to transform his pile of
vulcanised egg into a cutting-edge culinary
trend. "I thought it was supposed
to be an 80s thing, but we got taken
to Claridge's by a music business executive
last week. Very vertical, Gordon Ramsay.
Beautiful food, but vertical."
The cafe has been, as Tennant puts
it, "the hub of the Pet Shop Boys
world" since they began rehearsals
in a nearby studio for a tour of UK
universities. That too seems a most
un-Pet Shop Boys concept, a sweaty contrast
to their usual live extravaganzas featuring
chorus lines of dancers, multiple costume
changes and complicated sets.
"We had two motivations in doing
the big theatrical shows," says
Tennant. "One was to try something
different, which is always a good motive.
The second one was to hide behind all
the dancers and costumes. We didn't
think we were interesting enough without
them."
"I was thinking about Paul McCartney
when he first formed Wings just turning
up at universities and asking to play,"
explains Lowe. "That was the sort
of inspiration for it. We wanted to
travel up and down the country and eat
in transport cafes like this. I originally
wanted to do the tour in a Transit van..."
"...but I point-blank refused,"
says Tennant.
"Neil thought that was going just
too far. I don't know. A nice new mattress
in the back, for shagging. It would
be great. The Pets have arrived in town!"
Despite their bravado, Tennant and
Lowe seem no more at home in their rehearsal
studio than they do in the cafe. Like
all rehearsal studios, it is grubby
and cold. The only indication that the
Pet Shop Boys are in residence - apart
from an array of giant metal flight
cases spray-painted with the giveaway
words Pet Shop Boys - is an empty carrier
bag from an upmarket furniture store.
The standard-issue odour of old carpets
and stale cigarette smoke is in marked
contrast to the discreet waft of expensive
aftershave that emanates from Tennant
and Lowe. The Pet Shop Boys are the
nicest-smelling pop stars you could
wish to meet. Isn't this all rather
rock'n'roll for a band who once wrote
a song called How I Learned to Hate
Rock and Roll?
"Our tours are very rock and roll
anyway, I wouldn't worry about that,"
says Tennant. "We had a manager
in America who used to manage a lot
of big rock bands and he said, 'You
are without a doubt the most rock'n'roll
people I've ever managed.' We were the
most decadent. We had make-up artists,
dancers, wardrobe, the guys who just
do the wigs, so there was this huge,
mad entourage, which gives it this kind
of party ambience. It's a bit of a circus.
Oh, you'd be really surprised. Heavy
metal bands are always in bed by 11
o' clock."
There's something slightly schoolmasterly
about Neil Tennant. He strides rather
than walks to the band's nearby rehearsal
room, where preparations for their forthcoming
university tour are taking place: straight-backed,
head up. He wears little wire-framed
glasses and his thinning grey hair is
cropped short. He speaks in clipped
north-eastern tones - he was born in
North Shields - and, perhaps uniquely
among pop stars, uses the phrase "what-have-you".
He says he's tired: builders in his
road have been making noise at seven
in the morning. "Did you know that's
illegal?" he says, frowning. "I've
reported them to Kensington and Chelsea
council." Frankly, he doesn't look
like someone you would want reporting
you to Kensington and Chelsea council.
As Tennant rightly points out, the
public's perception of the Pet Shop
Boys is largely based on the cover of
their 1991 greatest hits collection,
Discography, on which he smirks and
raises a sardonic eyebrow and Lowe stares
impassively from behind a pair of enormous
sunglasses and a jaunty hat. Their aloof
personas were partly informed by the
fact that both had come late to pop
stardom - Tennant was born in 1954,
Lowe in 1959.
During the late 80s, however, when
the Pet Shop Boys seemed invincible,
a brainy hit-making machine that scored
four number ones while providing a running
commentary on the decade's mood, both
made good copy by playing out their
respective images to the press. Tennant
was ever-prepared with an ironic quip
- "I quite like proving that we
can't cut it live," he commented
after the duo mimed on television -
while Lowe did haughty froideur. "I
don't like country and western, I don't
like rock, I don't like rockabilly...I
don't like much really, do I? But what
I do like, I love passionately,"
he snapped in a quote later used on
Paninaro, the duo's 1986 paean to Armani
clothes.
"Everyone with a degree of exposure
gets lumbered with the cartoon version
of themselves which you have to live
up to and that is the cartoon version
of ourselves," says Tennant today.
"Maybe it has something to do with
our song titles. People perceive You
Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're
Drunk as ironic, when in fact it's a
painful, heartbreaking song to me, because
it's so true."
In person, Tennant is neither arch
nor smug, and Lowe is seldom stony-faced.
He has a bluff Blackpool accent and
a habit of undercutting Tennant's more
thoughtful speeches with a one-liner.
Lowe laughs a lot, particularly when
discussing the travails of Closer to
Heaven, the musical they wrote in collaboration
with Jonathan Harvey, author of Gimme
Gimme Gimme and Beautiful Thing. It
opened to mixed reviews at the end of
May and lasted only four months at the
tiny Arts Theatre.
The Pet Shop Boys' extracurricular
activities have attracted critical opprobrium
and commercial failure before. Their
ill-conceived and rather pretentious
1987 film It Couldn't Happen Here was
savaged and it flopped, while the New
York Post suggested Radio City Music
Hall should be fumigated after a Pet
Shop Boys concert. But the failure of
Closer to Heaven seems to have particularly
rankled.
"The first night was quite triumphant
and I think the critics got pissed off,"
says Tennant. "We had people like
Elton John and Ian McKellen turn up,
people we know. The television people
were saying, 'Wow, this is an incredible
night, you've changed the West End musical,'
and I thought, 'We've actually fucking
done it!' The next day was this incredible
comedown, really savage reviews. Made
the music press seem really cosy. There
was a lot of hostility to it in the
theatre, but it got a little cult audience.
The last week it was on, I was introduced
to a woman and her daughter who saw
it 21 times. We lost the walk-up audience
in the week after September 11 and the
Vagina Monologues was hovering in the
wings, itching to get on. But we're
in it long-haul. We're writing another."
"We've learnt a lot from doing
this one," says Lowe. "It's
not just a case of writing a few songs
and slotting them in somewhere. Well,
it is with Mamma Mia. That's another
disheartening thing with musicals -
really crap ones seem to do incredibly
well. Have you seen Les Mis? It's shit.
It's rubbish. It's an absolute mystery."
Whatever the failings of Closer to
Heaven, you can't fault the Pet Shop
Boys' aspirations. At the very least,
they're trying to do something different,
which singles them out at a time when
British pop appears to be lacking ambition.
"The music business is very conservative
at the moment," says Tennant. "Imagine
showing us 15 years ago to Simon Cowell!
That's the problem with Pop Idol. They're
auditioning cabaret singers. Not that
I've got anything against cabaret singers,
it's a perfectly noble occupation, but
it's not pop music. It's Batley Variety
Club. We're back to 1961. And thank
God for that, eh? It's Cliff, it's Adam
Faith, if you're being really dangerous
it's Billy Fury."
"The Beatles was a huge mistake,
going down that path, letting artists
write their own songs. Everything's
back to normal," says Lowe.
"Yes," says Tennant, "all
the Beatles ever did was make people
take drugs."
So you're not joining in the national
obsession with Pop Idol, then? Tennant
shakes his head - "it's just too
annoying" - but Lowe hoots with
laughter.
"Of course I am! It's riveting!
I vote every week. For Gareth. He's
the only one who looks like a pop star.
I could tell that from day one. They
should have just said, right, there's
only you, we may as well end the show
now. Heh heh heh!"
Despite Lowe's enthusiasm, 16 years
after West End Girls hit number one,
the Pet Shop Boys look rather like a
reminder of a bygone era. In an age
of confess-all interviews, they seldom
discuss their private lives. Not much
is known about the Pet Shop Boys beyond
the fact that they're gay and their
previous occupations: Tennant was a
journalist for Smash Hits and had a
job anglicising spellings for Marvel
Comics, Lowe studied as an architect
and played trombone in a jazz band called
One Under the Eight.
"People are more interested in
a writer's life than a writer's writing,"
says Tennant. "Like the film Iris,
which tells you that Iris Murdoch had
Alzheimer's and did a lot of shagging
when she was younger. Shagging, Alzheimer's
- Iris Murdoch, a life in full. The
28 books don't get a look-in. I imagine
Iris Murdoch would be horrified if she
saw this film, although Dame Judi is
obviously marvellous. Anyway, people
have this idea that the life is what's
important and you express it in your
art. Well, you know, a lot of our life
does go into our art, but songwriting,
like any creative act, is contrivance
as well. I don't think people appreciate
the skill or the talent that goes into
that."
In addition to their unfashionable
urge for closely guarded privacy, their
music smacks of a time when pop was
unafraid to take at least some risks,
to not immediately seek out and target
the lowest common denominator.
The Pet Shop Boys, lest we forget,
were the band who offered, as the lyrics
to the single Left to My Own Devices
had it, "Che Guevara and Debussy
to a disco beat". They pricked
U2's earnest pomposity by covering Where
The Streets Have No Name as a pounding
camp medley with Andy Williams' Can't
Take My Eyes Off You. They provided
music's most deft dismantling of the
Thatcherite dream, Opportunities (Let's
Make Lots of Money), a tale of no-hopers
imbued with the spirit of the late 80s,
convinced that untold riches are within
their grasp. The chances of Westlife,
Blue or any current pop band recording
something along those lines seem slim
to say the least.
"We work in an area that doesn't
really have a category now, it doesn't
really exist any more," Tennant
admits. "There always used to be
a new band, where people would say,
'They're the Pet Shop Boys of this year.'
The KLF were the Pet Shop Boys of one
year. There hasn't been a Pet Shop Boys
of this year for ages."
Alone among songwriters whose work
is aimed at the charts, Tennant and
Lowe still deal in wit, intelligence
and ambiguity, as evinced by their forthcoming
eighth album, titled Release. I Get
Along turns the sacking of Peter Mandelson
into a regretful love lyric, sung by
Tony Blair: "The morning after
the night before, I had been alerted
to all your lies, I phoned you up, the
calls were all diverted." The Night
I Fell in Love is even more striking.
"Some people feel uncomfortable
with Eminem, because of the homophobia,
or perceived homophobia," explains
Tennant. "Eminem's response is
he's not personally homophobic, he is
representing the homophobia of America,
he's playing the part of a homophobic.
I can buy into that, I think there's
a certain amount of truth in it. I thought,
wouldn't it be interesting to use Eminem's
method - write a song about a boy, like
the boy out of Queer as Folk, who goes
to see a rap artist at the Manchester
Arena or somewhere, ends up getting
off with him and can't believe he ends
up spending the night with him. I just
thought, well, if Eminem can give it,
he can take it." He chuckles.
Perhaps because they represent a last
bastion of intelligence and edge amid
the mindless fray of pop, the Pet Shop
Boys are still warmly received. They
were the unlikely stars of 2000's Glastonbury,
performing to a rapturous reception.
"I just didn't think it was our
audience," says Tennant. "It
was very sweet, the lead singer of Ocean
Colour Scene came up to me beforehand
and said, 'They're gonna fackin' love
yer, cause you got all them songs!'
He'd obviously had a couple of drinks,
but it was very sweet."
More than 16 years after West End Girls
topped the charts, their singles still
reach the top 10 - not, it must be admitted,
with the frequency they once enjoyed,
but more often than those of most of
their contemporaries. They have survived
pop's dumbing down relatively unscathed.
The university tour sold out quickly.
The forthcoming album, which features
former Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr,
is a melancholy delight. The 1980s revival
circuit shows no signs of claiming them
just yet.
"If you've still got an idea -
which we have," says Tennant, "you
can always carry on."
"I tell you what I really hate
at the moment," says Lowe. "When
Steps split up, they went, 'Oh, we wanted
to end while we were on top.' I think,
what's that got to do with it? Do you
like doing it or do you not like doing
it? This whole 'We wanted to end at
our peak' thing - it's bollocks. Either
you enjoy making music or you don't;
it's not something you can opt out of.
They just regard it as some bloody stupid
career."
But what's the point of a band like
Steps existing if they're not having
hits? They're hardly in it for the artistic
endeavour, are they?
"But they'll always be able to
play Butlins!" says Lowe, apparently
without sarcasm. "Sacha Distel's
playing there, you know. He says he
doesn't care whether it's the Albert
Hall or Butlins. Good on him, I say."
Tennant scowls, perturbed by the suggestion.
"We would never," he says
sternly, "tour Butlins."
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